A question was posted in the Divine Feminine Alchemy Facebook Group about how to overcome deep emotional pain. Several women replied with different techniques they’ve used, and I thought it would be beneficial to share. One woman said she “cried hard to release the toxins, danced to take out the negative energy, swam for grounding, and drew to lay it all out.” Another woman said she smoked a lot of weed, and another said she went to therapy.

During a spiritual awakening, we might experience overwhelm, anxiety, frustration, annoyance, hopelessness, apathy, anger, and eventually resolve. We experience so many different types of emotions that make this journey confusing and exhausting. Ignorance is bliss, but once you’ve begun expanding your consciousness, there’s no turning back. In a world where people blindly buy into illusion, you can’t un-know the truth. The ancients teach that to Know something you must either experience it or learn through imagery. Per ancient technique, our school systems do the exact opposite of educating us. The teach rote memorization and repetition, but the ancients teach that the mind only needs to have an experience once to know something. As your awareness grows, it is perfectly normal to have complete breakdowns. You’re deprogramming yourself, and eliminating truths you’ve held for years. This is a great loss, and your vessel will recognize this. It’s like taking candy away from a preschooler to replace it with kale. We must keep emotional pain in perspective. How we perceive it, is culturally and environmentally specific. A family in rural Peru will not view the death of a loved one the same as a family in rural Kentucky. A woman in Los Angeles will not view rape the same as a woman in Saudi Arabia. As deep as our pain is, someone is always experiencing what we would consider a less painful sensation, and someone is always experiencing what we would consider a more painful sensation. Pain is subjective. We only have our personal experience and environment to use as a gauge. The loss of $10 will register differently for a billionaire, and a person living in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Our deepest emotional pain comes a from a combination of attachment and the mind trying to associate a cause to protect ourselves from experiencing further pain.

I can relate to this idea of a deep emotional pain because I have had deep attachments to loved ones for as long as I can remember. I dated my first real boyfriend at 15, and we’ve broken up countless times, but I never dated or slept with anyone else. We’re still together to this day. Upon embarking on my consciousness journey, I learned a lot about my experiences in this life and past lives that have shaped my reality. It was a slow process because I had a lot of resistance. I cut out heavier meats and eventually cut out all meat and dairy. I attended a 10-day silent retreat and read about 40 books on different topics related to ancient spirituality. Simultaneously opportunities arose, I met teachers and found friends I could talk to about these things.

After becoming more familiar with the Self (witness & observer) aspect of my being, I unlocked information about my life in Egypt. I had lost my mother & father by age 12, husband/brother by age 15, my daughter, my consort, and the only person I maintained was a step-son who destroyed all of my monuments when I died. I learned that no single person could have the answers I seek. Only my soul can Know my truth. Eventually, I found pieces and nuggets from several different experiences that came together to make my story whole. I suggested she start by reading The 4 Agreements, Stolen Legacy, and Ancient Future, and eliminating all processed foods as they might cause mental cloudiness.

In Ancient Indian tradition, the “reactive” part of the mind generates what is called a “Sankara” or deep wound, and there is a similar concept in the traditions of ancient Kemet. The idea here is that we are born with certain tendencies that attract similar circumstances over and over based on these sankaras. We then justify the root cause of these sankaras with our present life experiences. We say “my dad wasn’t around when I was a kid,” “I’ve always loved animals more than people because they don’t judge me,” or “I was molested.” However, for the cycle to have started, no matter how bad it seems, there must have been a prior experience that set things in motion. If we get into a car accident once, we become more cautious. But after 6 or 7 accidents, we begin to develop a fear of driving. It’s akin to drawing a line across a puddle, versus dropping a huge retaining wall into the puddle & fully interrupting the flow or current. It’s hard to get rid of these old patterns because they’re deeper than anything we can work out within our limited Earthly perspective. No matter if it’s the worst experience you’ve ever had, it’s guaranteed to only have been piled on top of something more painful that you experienced in a past life. To deal with deep emotional pain at the root, we have to learn to identify the Self. The Self is the witness and observer; it can only perceive and does not react. The awareness of any thought, sensation, emotion, etc.

You can begin to heal deep emotional wounds by first monitoring your sensory intake. You have to restrict all the distractions you allow into your awareness. It’s a sort of purging process. You have to remove chemicals in you shower water with filters, maybe even move to a place with more sunlight, and wildlife, stop using sterilizers like bleach and eating GMO foods. Also, try flushing while meditating. Flushing involves sending attention, from head to toe, through the entire body to pick up the slightest tingles, cramps, thoughts, urges, gurgling, etc. Do not scratch, or become irritated because that would be responding; this exercise is all about non-response. Just observe. Don’t even attribute emotions to sensations like, “that hurts” or “I’m hungry.” Flushing daily eventually results in understanding and awareness of the Self separate from the 3-dimensional physical experience.

Getting past emotional pain requires going through the discomfort of dissolving the ego, and ultimately unlocking the DNA. There is an ancient Egptian proverb that says “If you would know yourself, take yourself as a starting point and go back to its source; your beginning will disclose your end.” We have to work from our present life, through our DNA, back through our past lives.

I learned about my past when I began to understand the Self (soul or source energy) separate from the vessel I’m operating through DNA and my environment. There are tendencies that are of our ancestors, and there are tendencies that are of our karmic past. We have to silence the reactive, emotional mind, as even our thoughts are not significant to our essence. They are more of a result of circumstance even though the Western world teaches us they’re the creative energy itself. The creative energy is the witness and observer of all experiences, not the feelings, reactions, thoughts, or anything we can perceive with the five senses. There is an ancient proverb that says “Each truth you learn will be, for you, as new as if it had never been written.” We must trust deep inside that everything we interpret, sense, feel, and innerstand is perfectly suited for our individual journey. The intention to heal is enough in the physical realm, symbolizing healing at a higher level. When we receive hunches, opportunities, etc. we have to act. However, until we unlock the DNA, our worldly emotions and thoughts will continue to confuse us.